The Art of Assertive Female Negotiation – How to Negotiate Your Worth in a Male-Dominated Industry

Blog by Katharina Dalka

Katharina Dalka is the Founder and CEO of StellarOne Ltd, a tech strategy and investment advisory firm, and Co-Founder and Chairwoman of Dydon AI, a Swiss-based company delivering AI solutions for the fintech sector. She specialises in complex cross-border operations and is an experienced negotiator in M&A and fundraising contexts.

Katharina has trained in negotiation at Stanford, Yale, and with the Black Swan Group. In 2024, she launched BIA by StellarOne, a training program dedicated to empowering women to successfully negotiate their careers and deals.

This blog is based on a coaching webinar Katharina generously delivered to the POWERful Women community in early 2025.

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Over the course of my 20-year corporate career, I noticed a pattern: when I negotiated with women, they often didn’t negotiate as assertively as men—or sometimes not at all. When they did, it was frequently less effective. The only notable exception? Female lawyers, when they mostly negotiate for others.

This observation sparked a deeper exploration into the underlying causes. I wanted to understand the “why” behind it and, more importantly, develop actionable solutions. That journey led to the creation of my negotiation training program. I was driven by the clear cost of not negotiating—both professionally and financially—and by the understanding that gender dynamics play a significant role.

But I also knew that with the right tools and techniques, women can learn to navigate these dynamics with confidence and skill.

The cost of not negotiating

Not negotiating your salary can significantly shape your financial trajectory over the next decade. Each time you refrain from asking, you widen the gap between the wealth you have and the wealth you could have. Yet, your employer has no clear economic incentive to voluntarily increase your salary—especially if you don’t initiate the conversation. In the UK, the gender pay gap remains a pressing issue. As of 2025, it stands at 13.1% in favour of men. To put that into perspective, women are effectively working the first 48 days of the year unpaid.

Effective negotiation isn’t just a personal skill—it’s a business imperative. A well-negotiated deal can create win-win outcomes that drive long-term value for all parties.

I experienced this first-hand while negotiating the acquisition of a tech company. The seller was asking for a double-digit million sum above my budget. Rather than walking away, I asked him what else mattered to him in the deal. His answer? Keeping the company car, he was driving. By including that in the agreement, I was able to close the deal while saving my business a significant amount—proving that creative negotiation can unlock value well beyond the numbers.

The importance of having women in negotiations

Empirical evidence shows that when women actively participate in corporate negotiations, outcomes improve by up to 15% for all parties involved. Sidelining women in decision-making processes isn’t just a diversity issue—it’s a business risk. Effective negotiation is a business imperative—done well, it creates win-win outcomes for all parties involved.

But why don’t we negotiate?

If negotiation delivers such clear benefits, why do women negotiate less often—and often less effectively—than men? The answer lies in three key factors:

• Our relationship with money, shaped by cultural and personal biases, often leads women to undervalue their worth or feel discomfort around financial advocacy.
• Social and educational conditioning, which tends to reward compliance over assertiveness in women, leaving them less prepared and less confident in negotiation settings.
• Unhealthy gender dynamics that emerge during the negotiation itself—where assertive behaviour in women is often misinterpreted or penalised, reinforcing hesitation and self-censorship.

Throughout history, women have often relied on men for financial security. In many cultures, it was even deemed immoral or unladylike for women to handle money. This legacy has shaped the way many women relate to finance today. For many girls, money is not a common topic of family conversation. If we want to change that, we need to start talking openly about money with our daughters, early and often.

Another major barrier is the “likeability penalty.” Women are often socialised to prioritise being liked over being assertive, which makes it harder to challenge what they find unacceptable. But in the workplace, being liked is not the goal—being respected is enough.

Women also face systemic disadvantages, such as being less likely to receive sponsorship or mentorship than their male peers. And for women who also belong to other marginalised groups, the challenges are even greater, as they face compounded biases and stereotypes.

We are often conditioned to underestimate our financial competence, and the scarcity of strong female financial role models only reinforces that uncertainty. When women do advocate for more––particularly in salary negotiations––they risk being perceived as greedy or demanding, which can trigger feelings of guilt or shame.

Yet money is a critical tool––not only for comfort and security, but for independence, agency, and the ability to make empowered choices.

Effective tools to take into the negotiating room

Negotiation is a strategic exercise in power, and women can significantly improve outcomes by using a few key tools. For example, preparing a strong BATNA (best alternative to a negotiated agreement)––i.e. a backup plan if talks fail––immediately strengthens your position. Defining both a reservation point (your lowest acceptable outcome) and a target point (an ambitious but realistic goal) gives you clarity and control in the room.

However, gender dynamics can complicate the process. Women are often interrupted, their ideas dismissed or repeated, and their presence challenged through subtle and overt behaviours.

The key is to remain assertive: call out interruptions, use confident body language, and don’t shy away from silence as a tool.

Language also matters––avoid unnecessary apologies or minimizing phrases like “just” or “a bit.” Speak clearly, directly, and give your ideas space to land.

In the end, assertive negotiation isn’t just about asking––it’s about owning your value.

If you want to know more about female negotiation training, please check out our LinkedIn or website and get in touch via info@biaempowerment.com.