13 Dec How to embrace your value and increase your self-confidence at work – Laura Capindale
Laura Capindale is a Career Coach, NLP Practitioner and Director of The HR Crowd and Parentrepreneurs Club. She has worked in HR for 13 years across the private and public sectors and has held senior roles in local government. Returning from maternity leave in 2017, Laura struggled with the inflexibility of corporate working requirements. In 2021 she began her own HR consultancy company and recently co-founded Parentrepreneurs Club – a community and coaching service for parents who want to pursue their entrepreneurial or career goals. She is also an advice line volunteer for Pregnant Then Screwed. Laura loves being able to help others make transformational changes to both their personal and working lives.
This blog is based on a POWERful Connections Breakfast Laura kindly ran for aspiring women in energy in September.
Embracing your value and increasing your self-confidence at work is not always an easy task, especially when juggling the many responsibilities of being a working parent. But don’t worry! I’ve been there, and I’ve got your back!
At Parentrepreneurs Club, which I co-founded with fellow Coach Michelle Johnson, we understand your struggles and want to help you turn them into strengths. We believe that your unique experiences and perspectives are not only valuable, but vital to your success.
This blog is all about you!
- Discovering your value
- Increasing your self-confidence
- Excelling at work
And it’s jam-packed with practical advice and motivational content. So, toss aside those juggling balls for a moment, grab a cup of coffee (or wine, I don’t judge), and let’s get started!
“Be curious, not judgmental” – this quote by Ted Lasso perfectly encapsulates the core philosophy of my coaching philosophy and Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP). Founded by Richard Bandler and John Grinder, NLP is described as a form of applied psychology that encourages an attitude of curiosity and a focus on outcomes, flexibility, rapport, awareness, and action.
The first step to growth is self-awareness.
What a word, right? We’ve all heard it, but do we really understand it? Ever wonder why it seems like your brain is always on overdrive, yet you can barely remember what you had for breakfast? That’s because your body is an information superhighway, sending a whopping 11 million bits of information to your brain every single second! And no, I’m not kidding. But here’s the kicker: you’re only able to consciously process around 50 of those bits. That’s right– just 50! That’s less than 0.1% of all the information you are capable of being aware of. Pretty crazy, right?
I know from personal experience that between changing nappies, managing Zoom calls, and ensuring our little ones haven’t drawn up a masterpiece on the living room wall, it’s easy to let our consciousness slip. It’s like we’re operating on autopilot while the world whizzes by. We forget to pay attention to our own needs and emotions. Ask yourself:
- Are you feeling stressed?
- Are you feeling overwhelmed?
- Are you feeling unmotivated?
These are all signs your body sends to alert you that something’s off. If we take the time to tune in and listen, we can learn to recognise these signals and better manage our mental and emotional health.
Once we become self-aware that our thoughts create the success (or failures) in our life, we can choose to re-programme limiting beliefs that are holding us back and replace them with empowering ones that reflect what we want.
Start by taking a few moments each day to check in with yourself. How are you feeling? What’s on your mind?
You can also begin to understand yourself better through psychometric tests. I love to employ the DiSC assessment tool as a basis for my clients. It’s an incredible tool that provides insights into our behaviour and how we can become more effective in our personal and professional lives, and there are many similar tools available.
The power of self-efficacy.
As we strive to develop self-awareness, understanding self-efficacy becomes our next thrilling step. Ever wondered how some people just seem to juggle everything perfectly? Family, work, self-care, hobbies – it seems like they have some superhero power that makes them capable of doing it all. Well, guess what? They do, and it’s called high self-efficacy!
In simple terms it can be summed up by the following quote:
”Whether you think you can or you think you can’t – you’re right” – Henry Ford
So how do we boost this superpower? Psychologist Albert Bandura identified four sources of self-efficacy:
- Mastery Experiences
These are experiences we gain when we take on new challenges and succeed. They are the most powerful driver of self-efficacy. This is the superpower of the “Been there, done that, got the t-shirt” mindset. It’s all about taking on new challenges and coming out victorious. Remember the time you nailed that complex dish you never thought you could cook, or smashed that 10k you weren’t sure you were capable of? That’s a mastery experience boosting your self-efficacy. Seeing really is believing!
- Vicarious Experiences
Ever feel a surge of inspiration watching someone else successfully doing something? That’s what we call a vicarious experience. It is like when you see a person of similar age on TV lifting enormous dumbbells, and you’re motivated to push harder at the gym. Magic, isn’t it?
- Social Persuasion
This is when you get that much-needed boost from someone’s encouraging words. Remember that time when a friend’s positive words filled you with the confidence to achieve a goal? A little encouragement can go a long way in overcoming self-doubt and boosting your self-belief. Don’t underestimate the power of a pep talk, my friends!
- Physiological Responses
Lastly, our emotional reactions and physical responses to situations can greatly influence our self-efficacy. It’s like when you get butterflies in your stomach before a big presentation. Recognising these feelings and managing them effectively can help strengthen your belief in your abilities. Take a deep breath and remember, it’s all part of the journey, and it’s okay!
Learn to rate behaviour rather than the self.
Here’s our final strategy to embrace your value and increase your self-confidence; separate your actions from your self-worth.
Who hasn’t made a mistake, right? Whether you’ve accidentally missed an important meeting, or burnt your kid’s favourite dinner, it’s all a part of the fabulous journey we call life! Self-acceptance is your secret weapon here. It’s about being okay with who you are, even when you trip at the school gate or send an email to the wrong client. It’s about treating yourself like your own best friend, no matter what.
But don’t get me wrong! Embracing self-acceptance doesn’t mean turning a blind eye to your actions or giving up on self-improvement. You should still be mindful of your behaviour and aspire to do better when you make mistakes but laugh off the small stuff and view your mistakes as an opportunity for growth.
So, understand yourself, embrace your imperfections, and never stop striving to be the best version of yourself. You’re doing a great job, and don’t let anyone, especially yourself, convince you otherwise!
If you’d like to find out more about Parentrepreneurs Club and how our coaching services can benefit you or your organisation please drop us an email at hello@parentrepreneursclub.com or visit www.parentrepreneursclub.com